Writing Prompt Wednesday – “Depressed”

emptiness_by_elultimodeseo.jpg

Emptiness by elultimodeseo

Let me begin with a preface–
A jumble, a mess, a chaotic force of emotion and thoughts
Which, of course, houses no sense or security
And then, those moments of emptiness
An intense lacking in motivation and desire
Where a simple “are you okay?”
Can sound like the most grating noise
Where solitude seems to be the only solace
But loneliness is the bitter enemy

There’s no moon at night to see in the dark
And the day’s sun is hidden by clouds and storms
Or maybe the sun, bright and cheerful in a clear sky
Taunts with a happiness that seems impossible to touch
And, cursing at the inability to feel
This heavy blanket of non-emotion
Or, today (tomorrow, yesterday?), too much emotion
Smothers instead of comforts

That want of independence
To strike out into the world
Crippled by the fear of what lies beyond
For this fog across the eyes cannot be pierced
Back and forth, to and fro
No longer wanting to stay
But far too scared to go

This writhing mass of everything and nothing
Churning the stomach like tainted bile
Desperate to be purged
It craves escape, to see the outside
But letting loose this beast
Fierce and unpredictable
The consequences surely outweigh
Any other possible outcome

So, still here?
Doomed to suffer in silence
Futilely coiled and fetal
Clinging to this half-life
Too afraid to let go
But unable to move on
This stilted ending fights to persist
Despite itself

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